Dragonfly, Wood Lake Nature Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota, 2012
Update: First image had unacceptable color shift and lack of sharpness. This turned out to be the result of the conversion software used to upload file. I tried a different approach.
As some of my viewers may have noticed, I haven’t been very active over the last few months. This is because I have been focused on my wife’s long-term battle with cancer. It has been more important to be her caregiver than to follow my passions o photography and writing.
On June 9th, Becky died and since then I have struggled to find my balance. Photography and writing have been difficult simply because my heart hasn’t been it.
Yesterday, was one of the few perfect days of this summer. I forced myself to pick up my camera and go outside. Luckily, Minneapolis is rich in parks and nature reserves. I went to Wood Lake Nature Center and took a long walk, hoping that the beauty of the weather and my surroundings would stir something in me.
It was as if I had forgotten most of what I know about photography. The camera felt alien in my hand, the tripod – always awkward – was even more so. I moved slowly, heavily and had to be careful not to drop my lenses when I changed them. Grief and depression have weighed me down.
I went to Wood Lake with the hope of finding dragonflies. They did not disappointment me and appeared periodically to show their aerial skills and brilliant colors.
Because of my clumsy slowness trying to photograph the little acrobats was frustrating and unproductive. I was disheartened as I took the path back to interpretive center.
It was then that this little guy landed on the stem and just sat there. Despite gusting breezes that tried to blow him away, he held on. And eventually, I got this picture.
My mood lifted. Until that moment I had felt as if my efforts had been a complete waste of time. I still felt like I was walking through gumbo clay but the day was a little more colorful, the air was a fresher.
Later, when I looked at the Wood Lake photos I realized that there were other shots that might be worth working on. But first the dragonfly. As I worked on the image in Lightroom and then Photoshop I was able to feel a faint something that resembled the meditative wholeness that I once felt regularly as I worked.
It is through the dragonfly photo that I may have started the process of reconnecting to the world.