I have discovered that I am still waiting for the shoe to drop. After four years of Trump, I am trained to expect something outrageous every day. What new assault on civility and commonsense is about to occur? Four long years of emotional abuse. We are just now leaving an emotionally and physically abusive relationship with a narcissistic tyrant. Like any battered person, I still flinch as the Republicans continue to foster the Big Lie or try to impede progress. Four years of fight or flight responses has left me exhausted.
The good news is that the Biden Administration has released a surge of political endorphins with executive orders, cabinet appointees, and cogent plans for the next four years. At last, the threats that have been piling up on us are being dealt with. It is refreshing to be told the truth, including the harsh reality of what we may expect in this coming year.
Telling the truth, being candid, is the only way to heal and reconcile. All of us need to be on the same page with no sunny denials, rosy predictions, or false narratives to divide us. Times are hard for most Americans, regardless of political affiliation. The only way that we can make life better throughout the United States is to deal with the actual causes of our pain.
We can do that most quickly and with the least pain, if those who have been misled and goaded for years are able to wean themselves off the addiction of outrage. This addiction started decades ago, long before Trump. Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, and Republicans built the Big Lie, bit by bit, until they were as addicted as their party base. Mitch McConnell and the outraged Republicans tried to sabotage President Obama’s efforts to provide relief to millions of Americans who had been devastated by George W. Bush’s eight years in office. The economy crashed due to Bush’s illegal $2 trillion war against Iraq. It was left to Obama to pick up the pieces. And all the time, even as the economy improved and people returned to work, the Right complained and was outraged.
When Trump was elected, the Right remained outraged even though they had won. Their anger was, and remains, focused on Democrats, Liberals, Progressives, and anyone else whom they are directed to hate.
January 6th demonstrated how dangerous outrage is. Today, Trump, Republicans, and the Right-wing media continue to stoke the fires. How can outrage addicted Americans regain their footing? How can they wean themselves off the poison they have become habituated to?
Outrage is a behavior based on strong emotions. It is exhausting and causes stress related illnesses. It can lead to violence, as we have seen. However, it need not be a permanent condition. To heal our nation, we must be aware that fellow Americans are suffering from anger, fear, uncertainty, caused by unemployment, healthcare, keeping a roof over their heads and food on the table. They do not need our pity or condescension. They need us to stop enabling their behavior by feeding into their unreality.
As in a family with an addicted family member, we need to continue our daily routine without them manipulating us and creating chaos. We must remain on the path of honesty and action in the effort to rebuild our nation. We must move forward with or without those of our national family addicted to outrage. Whether they choose to change or not, they will still benefit when we are successful.
We face more existential crises than any generation before us and time is critical. We must gain control of the pandemic; rebuild our economy to serve all Americans; address racial and economic injustices; recognize and begin massive programs to mitigate Climate Change; fix our electoral system; rebuild our relationships around the world; and defend our nation against China, Russia, and others.
What to do? The poison that creates outrage is like alcohol, freely available and legal. Like alcoholism, it is up to the individual to recognize their dependence and seek help. Because we do not have, nor should we, “education camps” it is left to the individual to heal themselves. That is where the rest of America has an opportunity to help.
It begins with firm love. The decades of lies and manipulation have left millions of Americans living in a half-reality. We all see the same things but interpret them differently through the lenses of our experiences and what we have been taught. We must confront the addict’s misinterpretations with the shared reality the rest of us have. Anger, hysteria, and condemnation are counterproductive. The goal is creating healthier relationships with our fellow Americans so that we can work together and share the satisfaction and pride of achieving great things together.
Our family members, friends, and neighbors have a powerful addiction based on lies and manipulation. It is the duty of the rest of us to protect ourselves and them from harm. They are not the enemy. They are our fellow Americans.
01/27/2021 – Corrections to grammar and punctuation.
Outrage Is an Addiction is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International license.